Signpost up ahead.

Clearfield, PA is a strange town. It reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode. You know, the town that the character visits and then can never escape. That is this town. There were quite a few people staying at the hotel, but when we went downtown, it looked like a ghost town. All this being said, I submit for your approval:
The downtown was quite creepy. There were a ton of stores, but no one was shopping. To its credit, the town was incredibly clean, but I guess it should be because no one was hanging around to dirty up the place. It was as if the whole town was created just for Brian, Jayson and I. We had just wondered in to the Twilight Zone, never to be heard of again. We decided that we wanted to see a movie. We checked the listings in State College because it was apparently not too far from Clearfield. For some reason, which I still cannot explain, we decided to go to the theatre in downtown Clearfield. This theatre, which is called The Ritz, looked like it was lost in the 1940s and just found on Saturday. It was playing first run movies, but they were only charging $5 for admission. When I commented on the deal that the admission was, the ticket taker said in a creepy voice, “I see that you have gone to the movies outside of this town.” I was waiting for the mad scientist laugh, but it never came. Anyway, at this point, I was thinking that I should have brought the camera. Really, it wouldn’t have mattered because I was starting to think that I wasn’t going to get out of this town. We could get back on to I-80, but the only exit we would pass by would be the same Clearfield exit, over and over again.
Ok, back to my story. Next, I bought some water and Hot Tamales and decided to go sit down. Right before you enter the theatre, there was a 100 gallon fish tank with 2 Oscars in it. One Oscar was huge. I swear, it was about a foot and a half long. This thing must have weighed at least 10 pounds. After I got over the enormous size of the fish, I started to wonder why that there was a fish tank in the theatre anyway. My mind quickly jumped from the fish to the smell of the place. It smelled like the basement of a 100 year old house. Nothing I had seen thus far could prepare me for what we would see when we entered the theatre.
Once we entered the theatre, on the left, there was a fireplace with a fake glowing log in it. Above the fireplace, there was a portrait of some medieval lady. There were swords hanging all over the walls and the sound system for the movie looked like 2 big house speakers set up in front of the screen. The movie had no previews and no “be quiet” ads. Oh well, I guess that they were all about getting down to business. In my mind, I half expected to see a 1940s style news reel ad, but none came.
Anyway, when the movie got out, we returned to the car and still, no one was on the street. We laughed about it and went back to the hotel. Since I am posting, you can probably guess that we did make it home. Read all about our quest on the Ultimate Burger site. MacLachlan…Out!

Your exclusive Ultimate Burger blog...

is not here. I know that you faithful readers check MacLachlan...Out for all the latest news, but unfortunately, the staff at MacLachlan...Out does not have the exclusive rights to report on Operation Q.U.B. or it participants. Now I know that you are thinking, "hey, John owns both sites, what gives?" Well, it is a very complicated set of rules that we operate under here, so I ask you to tune in to "Quest for the Ultimate Burger" for all the news on our progress.

Gala...schmala!!!

I must qualify this whole post by first saying, I am not gay, I just am a sucker for the Olympics. It doesn’t matter if the sport is baseball or gymnastics, I am a sucker for it all and so I watch.
Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I am seriously ticked because of the supposed “Gymnastics Gala” that was on last night. I know, I know, it is gymnastics, but just stay with me. Anyway, it is supposed to be an exhibition where the medal winners get to show off what they can do. You know, stuff that they don’t want to risk in competition, or that they cannot because it is illegal. I saw nothing of the sort. First, Courtney Kupets did her same old floor routine that I have seen over and over since the Olympics started. Next, Carly Patterson did the same thing with her floor routine. Argh…I could do her routine now because I have seen it so much. Well, actually, I couldn’t, but I could teach it to someone. You know the old saying about those who can’t. No disrespect meant to teachers, I just know my limitations. Paul Hamm did his high bar routine and he didn’t do the same one he had been doing the whole competition. He did even less!!! How lame!!! Where is the show boating?? I want to see what these guys and girls can do and then I want them to taunt the crowd!!! Well, last night I got none of that. Next time, I will pass on the “Gymnastics Gala” and tune in to track and field where at least I can count on Justin Gatlin and Shawn Crawford to talk smack and taunt the crowd.

And yet another project!!

Check out our deck!! Hopefully it will be finished in 2 weeks. I would shoot for next weekend, but we will be on the Quest for the Ultimate Burger!! Don' forget to donate.

Nice Weekend

This weekend was rather uneventful for a change. I spent most of the day on Saturday working on the computer. Since I have been working on the house for the last few months, the computer work has been piling up. I did my best to catch up, but was unsuccessful. At least Melinda's PC is fixed now.
Saturday night was off road night on Boston Blvd. Brian, Billy and Rich stopped over to ride dirt bikes and 4-wheelers. We rode until dark and had a blast. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, stop by and see our trail that we made.
Sunday was relaxing for the most part. After church, we ran to Home Depot for a chainsaw and then watched some of the Olympics. Sunday evening, Brian and I put up the first wall at the tree fort. Rather boring, but this is the life I lead. Every day can't be a quest for the ultimate burger day.

Quest for the Ultimate Burger

Just a quick note about something coming soon to a blog near you. Just remember that you heard it first right here. In the coming weeks, check out http://ultimateburger.blogspot.com/ for info on the upcoming road trip to Pennsylvania to break a world record and eat a 6lb. hamburger at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub. No one has eaten this monstrosity…yet. So check it out, and check their website out because in the next month or two, they will be updating their website with the names of our special hamburger forces team. Never again will they be able to say that no one has eaten their burger.

My Official Response

In recent days, it has been brought to my attention that some family members have been talking trash about my repeated promises to update the Maclachlan Family website. I thought that I could turn a blind eye to the comments, but alas, I cannot. To all of you wonderful citizens of the MacLachlan family, I say to you, I am sor….err…hey, GET OFF MY BACK!! Building tree forts and planting grass takes time! Ok, now that I have that off my chest, I have a promise to make as the MacLachlan Family.com commander and chief. On August 12, 2004, check our wonderful website because before you all, I hereby promise an update by that time. MacLachlan…Out!!!

Tree Fort Monster

Building a tree fort for the kids has taken a little longer than expected. I had assumed that it would be done by now. You just can’t build something like this without it turning into some kind of grand construction project for the ages.
Really, building a tree fort is not much different from constructing a bridge or a building. You see, it is always bigger and more costly than you think. You will always run into unforeseen problems. Finally, there is much satisfaction when the project is done.
Our tree fort is no exception. It started out as a simple platform, but you can’t have a group of men building the thing without it growing into a project deserving several permits. Anyway, we have renovated the old floor and added more floor space. We also added a lower level and are discussing the addition of an upper level. Now, I know that I have been promising pictures for a while, but they are coming soon!

Random thoughts on my weekend.

Ok, so I haven’t posted in a few days, so I have a couple of things on my mind. Anyway, I present John’s thoughts, in no particular order.
Have I ever said that I love parties? This weekend was our house warming party, sponsored by Wayne Homes. They provided all the food and drink. Hey, they even provided a moonwalk for a few hours. If you missed it, sorry, but we had a great time.
I learned 2 things from the party this weekend. First, most people are scared of driveways if the homeowner doesn’t have a car parked in it. For those who missed it, I parked both of our cars across the street, so people could pull up in the driveway if they wanted. Well, out of all the people who showed up, Rob and my Dad were the only ones who parked in the driveway. Actually, a couple of people did park in the driveway after the 2 brave guys, but they made sure to park all the way down at the end.
The second thing I learned was that it doesn’t matter how long that you have a moonwalk in your yard, it is never long enough. Kids just love that thing, right Chad and Marie?
Stepping on nails is no fun. The kids and I decided to renovate an old tree fort at the back of our property and there is a lot of nail filled wood lying on the ground. Brian and I were helping the kids make their floor stronger and it was getting dark, so things on the ground were getting harder to see. Anyway, I stepped on a nail and put it into my big toe. I must say that I was a little disappointed that the pain from the rusty nail by no means fit the actual wound I acquired. The dumb puncture didn’t even bleed. Oh well, at least I have had a tetanus shot in the spring when I had my last accident.

The grass is growing!

It is official! We have new grass in our front yard. Yesterday evening, when I was mowing the lawn, I spotted little blades of grass in the part of the yard we hydroseeded last weekend. Then, this morning when I left for work, I could see whole green patches in the new area of the lawn! Wow, what a great feeling. The work is far from over though. This grass needs more tender loving care if it is to turn into a full fledged lawn.
By the way, I will have pictures soon for those who need to view the grass.

A cow? Huh?

Maybe this is becoming a weekly thing, but it seems like once a week, I read or hear something that makes me shake my head and ask what the..? This week’s story comes all the way from Cambodia and you can read it in its entirety here: http://wwrn.org/parse.php?idd=9503&c=80.
For those of you that don’t want to read the story, I give you the gist. Apparently there is a cow in Cambodia that is healing people with its tongue. She gives a couple of licks and you are healed. There are two caveats though. First, according to the cow’s owner, you must pay. You know, there is no free lunch, or lick in this case. Second, you must believe in the cow’s powers. Rumor has it that she can sense whether or not you believe and will not lick you if you doubt. Yeah, right.
Ok, my take on this whole thing. I seriously doubt that this cow has the power to heal anyone. It is all in the heads of those zany Cambodians. Maybe the cow has saliva like a dog. You know, it has healing enzymes. If you have a cut, the cow can lick it and you will heal faster. Ok…a little far fetched, but at least that is somewhat believable. If I have cancer and the cow licks me, there is no way that I am going to be cured. According to the owner, the cow wouldn’t lick me anyway, because I am a skeptic.
The owner says that he found out about the healing powers because the cow was licking his wife all the time and suddenly she was healed of an illness (which they never name) that they had spent a lot of money trying to cure. Let me just say that if this cow was licking my wife as much as this guy says it was licking his, I would have shot the cow.
Finally, the article says that the Cambodians are very superstitious. No, really?

Just call me Mr. Greenthumb.

If you haven’t noticed, it has been a few days since my last entry. Fear not, because I’m back and there is good reason for my lack of attention to the blog. This weekend, with the help of some family and friends, I planted grass on the side of my house. Geez, it was a huge job! The worst part about it is that I only planted a small part of my lawn. There is still the back yard and the other side yard. Oh well, I won’t worry about it right now because I am too busy looking at the accomplishment on the other side of the yard.
Melinda and I started raking the topsoil on Saturday morning and by 4pm, I was tired and had only finished a 20x15 foot spot. At that point, Billy and Gordie came by to help me rake the yard with the tractors. Now we were rolling. Melinda went to pick up the hydroseeder, which I had secured excellent rental terms for, but that is another story. Now we had all the pieces to spray hydroseed and it was only 5:30.
So, Melinda shows up with the hydroseeder, which was so large that it almost bottomed out the Durango. I guess I really underestimated the size of this thing. We got started filling the 500 gallon tank with hose water and took a break to eat. After dinner, we put in the first half of the hydroseed recipe and then added more water. It was kind of like baking a cake! Finally, we agitated the mixture. You have to make the seed mad, or they will not grow! We were now ready to spray our first 7500 sq ft.
Well, we only got half of the 7500 sq ft out of the first batch. Those guys at Michigan Rental either grossly overestimated the coverage of the batch, or Billy and I were laying it on really thick. By now, it was 8:00 and we were out of mulch. Since there was no place open to buy more mulch, we called it quits for the night.
Sunday morning, Melinda and I went back to Michigan Rental to buy more mulch. Our only problem was that we needed 300lbs, but they only had 150lbs to sell us. After a frantic search, we finally found the other 150lbs we needed in Highland. The only problem, they closed at noon and it was 10:30. So, I rushed Melinda and Emma to church and then drove out to Tool Time to get the mulch we so desperately needed. On the plus side, it cost about 1/3 of what the mulch at Michigan Rental cost. The moral of the story: visit Tool Time on Milford Rd. at M-59 for all your mulching needs. After racing back to church in time to hear Pastor Rod’s message and then stopping for lunch with the family at Red Lobster, Brian and I were back to baking a cake…err…mixing a batch of hydroseed. Wow, this is getting long. Ok, to finish up quickly, Brian and I mixed 2 more batches of hydro seed and finished planting the grass just in time for a Sunday night cookout. Check out the pictures of the hydroseed event at http://www.maclachlanfamily.com/. Coming soon. MacLachlan…Out!